by Fred Haynes
People who like to cook, test their culinary skills, or stroke the palette with tasty delicacies often speak of food with as much devout passion and zeal as a musician does with music. Have you ever listened to Gordon Ramsey, Andrew Zimmerman or watched cooking shows? I find them fascinating!
Here’s my rendition of culinary passion for HAM!
There’s nothing more tempting than a sweet piece of rump meat tightly wrapped in a layer of brown skin. At 1st glance, her thick leg was semi-concealed in a material like FISHNET… BLACK PANTYHOSE.. WHERE THE BIG LEGS… SHOW THROUGH THE HOLES! (courtesy of Morris Day)
A brief dialogue ensued after I noticed her skin was a tad bit dry.
She said, “Daddy, if you have a problem with it, do something about it. Dude, DAMN…you know you want my ham!”
Although, I didn’t like her attitude & tone, I decided to give her a quick wash up as I said “Chic, I GOT THIS!”
While caressing her curves with water and sensual hands, I decided to scrub her down with a brown sugar/cinnamon/ginger concoction. To give her skin a slight glisten, I applied a honey pear glacé to bring out her skins’ natural earth tone complexion.
To ensure a tasty epidermal hydration, I carefully and strategically laid some pineapples on the said juicy leg. You all would get culinarily aroused too, if you saw what’s in front of me. Hell, I’m gonna stick her with my clove(s). Such a lovely vision of jewce dripping sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet meat.
Now…my only problem was getting her into the oven because she feared the heat would mess up her make-up that I applied earlier. I had to tell her a little white lie and appeal to her vanity. I simply told her that it was tanning bed and that her natural beauty would be enhanced with just a few hours of tanning heat.
My only issues now are explaining the cutting knife and the loaf of bread that she saw once I shut the “tanning door.” Oh hell….she’ll get over it. LET’S EAT!!!!by