by Fred Haynes
Men, never let your woman (or any other woman) write your MAN LAWS for you. If you do, those “laws” will, with almost with 99.5% certainty, have you in a bind.
1) THOU SHALT GO SHOE SHOPPING AGAINST THY WILL AND YOU WIIL PAY. This law will require you to spend countless hours shoe shopping with her without choice & on your dime.
2) THOU SHALT NOT LAY CLAIMS TO YOUR OWN MONEY. Get ready to spend your money on her 99.5% of the time with only a 10% chance of gettin some butt.
3) THOU SHALT INDULGE ON THE FRIVOLOUS. You must believe that a Coach CoCo Chanel purse is a necessity and constitutional right.
4) THOU SHALT NOT HAVE AN OCULAR AFFAIR. “1.3 seconds” of eye contact with the female cashier at the store when purchasing her shoes and that damn purse will have you defending yourself from accusations of an affair/cheating.
5) THOU SHALT NOT COMPLAIN ABOUT STUFF. You must remain silent when she leaves both cars empty on gas and littered with makeup kits, Dorito bags, half-drank water bottles, cookie crumbs, wet naps, and of course, countless shoes. But if you leave the toilet seat up, the apocalypse has commenced.
6) THOU SHALT NOT IMPEDE GIRL POWER. Girls’ night out or female vent sessions are therapeutic & bonding moments, but boys’ night out is an abomination.
7) THOU SHALT MARRY ME. You must make the 1st move, finance the relationship, be a full-time entertainer, pay for an expensive ring & most of the reception and honeymoon, make a back door entrance to the altar in a rented tuxedo as she makes a grand entrance in a special gown commanding a standing ovation while being musically serenaded with oohs & ahhs.
But if you really love her, these rules are not really that bad for adherence and compliance.by