By James Manning
Men, when it comes to women, we can turn a layup into a 3-point shot at the buzzer to win the championship. There are no answers that explain why we do this; we just know it happens often. So when it comes to first dates, the pitfalls are endless and the rules are many. But there are a few steps we can take that constitute at least 90% of the reasons why a second date is a no-go.
• Don’t get drunk: This is common sense as the goal is to converse with the young woman sitting across from you. But apparently this happens more often than we realize. A man being drunk in public is something that should take place in Vegas with him and five other guys. If by chance you ever get drunk while your woman is around, it is because there are years attached to your relationship, not hours.
• Don’t talk about the ex: She will ask “why are you single” and maybe she’ll ask what happened with your last relationship. The best approach is to answer in the most general terms without bashing you ex, even if she was the ultimate bitch; and especially if you were a tall sack of douche bagness. There’s no point in revealing that information on the first date. She’ll discover your level of doucheyness soon enough.
• No stupid sex talk: And by stupid I mean anything about sex. And by sex, I mean anything about your chances of having sex with her. Don’t ask about her sexual past. I don’t know if I can make this any clearer, but I’ll try. You can say, “Wow, you’re beautiful.” You can say, “I really like your outfit.” What you can’t ask is “So, have you ever had sex on the first date.” You can’t say, “You have a nice ass.” If tempted to say something sexual, think first, STFU, take a sip of your soda… then STFU until that moment of stupidity has passed.
• Don’t touch: And by touch I mean grope. If a woman is into you at some point she’ll send a signal that it is okay to touch. A light hand on the shoulder. A slight touch on the small of her back while you’re opening the door for her.
• Don’t pretend you’re someone else: Not that you have to tell everything about yourself, but the best approach is not to create a façade figuring the real you will never show itself. There is nothing worse than having a woman fall for someone else right in front of your face. It breeds insecurity and insecurity breeds resentment and resentment is the death knell in any relationship.
• Listen more than you talk: The date is not about you. It is about her figuring out if you’re a sleaze bag or not. It’s better for her to not know if you’re a sleaze bag than to open your mouth and remove all doubt. Plus, it’ll make her feel that you actually care what she has to say. So look her intently in the eyes (you can look at her chest every 30 words but don’t stare), say “that’s interesting” every so often and when she asks “tell me about you,” keep it brief and humble.
• Pay for everything: Dutch is strictly reserved for women who have refused to have sex with you. Money is not an issue because you’re going to make it a casual first date: coffee, lunch, walk in the park, bike ride, free day at the museum. If you’re a baller, a first date is not the time to show it. Remember: humble. That means being humble with your talk and deeds.
Bottom line gents: Keep it simple, keep it clean, and keep it real. You’ll thank me later.
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