I’ve never been enamored with the idea of having multiple wives. In fact, I think the practice is outright ridiculous. Not that I have a moral objection to the idea, it’s just that when I think of the multiple things a man can choose to have in his life, a wife isn’t really high on the list. Again, this is not a moral standing but one of practicality. Think about the honey do list that’s sitting on the top of the fridge at this very moment. Now imagine having multiple lists. No sir.
Now, there is certain financial stage a man must meet to support multiple wives so I would like to take this moment to highlight some of the things a man can have multiple of as an alternative to an extra wife. You’ll thank me later.
So here four things a man should get multiple of before he considers getting multiple wives.
Certainly you want your primary residence for the family. But rather than purchasing a new home and putting an extra wife in it, why not a pool table, bear skin rug and bar stocked with some of the best wine and whiskey from around the world? Sure, you’ll call it a family vacation home but what it’ll really be is a place for you and the guys to get away for a weekend fishing trip.
I know what you’re thinking, how many man caves can one home have? Well, for the man who has it all… three Man Caves seems adequate. After all, with multiple wives you’d have different areas of the home purposed for differing taste in you wives so why not just have the rooms purposed for differing likes and hobbies. For example: You have the sports pub for watching the game when you can’t get away to the vacation home on the lake. Then there is the wine cellar/poker lounge that is a bit more upscale than the pub and adequately stocked for Christmas parties and boys night in. Finally, the dithering room located right off the garage and housing every tool, sports equipment and gear head magazine imaginable. Oh, plus it has a bar, grill and big screen TV for watching the game while pretending you know what you’re doing under the hood of those muscle cars.
Speaking of cars, having multiple muscle cars is the greatest man dream and he should pursue it with reckless abandon when financial resources allow. The benefit of multiple muscle cars over multiple wives is that if more than one turns out to high maintenance, you can invest in one over the other. So if the Challenger is your cup of tea then you just put of the new engine for the Mustang until the following year.
They say the acronym for boat is “Bring Out Another Thousand.” Well, this is also said of second wives. The difference being is that you can store a boat away and not think about it until summer; not the case with a wife. A boat is also a nice escape for a few hours. You can catch up on a good book, do some fishing or just go full throttle and skim across the waves. That extra thousand every few months doesn’t come close to the cost of having to buy multiple Christmas, Mother’s Day, Birthday and Anniversary gifts… EVERY YEAR FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE. Think about that. For the rest of your life. And sadly, you’ll probably die before either of your spouses. It’s best to have one wife and name the boat “Second Wife” and be done with it.by