by Ree Des
Lately family, friends and even complete strangers are questioning me “Why Am I single,” as if being single is a disease, or I’m crazy or there is something wrong with me. NEWSFLASH!!!! I’m single; committed single.
Until life drops an exquisite man onto my path with who it is just undeniable to the core of my being that this is the man I was born to create worlds with. But I get this question a lot: “Why aren’t you in a relationship now?” Why? Being coupled up makes me no more inherently valuable and worthy as a human being as being single. I’m happy with my single life. No one asks when you’re happy in a relationship, “Why aren’t you single?”
Anyway, relationships are only pathways to our profound awakening, and by “relationships” I mean RELATIONSHIP
… relationship to money, sex, career, mom and dad, friends, animals, the planet, intimate partners … all these relationships serve to surface our limiting, fear-based thoughts and how we play small and sell out our deepest heart yearnings for the empty promises of security. … so we can finally heal them if we’re vigilant about it (and thus wake the hell up from our insanity).
Of course, the most important relationship of all is TO YOURSELF. If you can’t untangle that messy relationship with yourself and learn to find the love already overflowing deep within you … well, then an intimate relationship is likely to be disappointing because your partner ain’t gonna show up with the love you can’t find in yourself.
So I’m committed single until committing to a relationship is a clear “hell yes!”
In the meantime, I keep doing the worthy work of coming home to myself, creating an awesome life every day. When that sexy, delicious other finally shows up and my soul reaches out through my heart to wrap her up safe in my embrace … I’ll be filled with so much goddamn love he can’t help but get it all over his precious self. That’s why I’m not in a relationship now.
Being single is not a disease!
I see men and women daily log onto social media complaining about no good men or women left out there and I cringe because more than likely the reality is that they are painting all men with the same broad paint stroke because of the poor decisions they made.
You have men and women who are in relationships just because they are afraid of being alone. This is possibly one of the most horrible things we can do to ourselves. Allow someone who doesn’t deserve to be in our lives just because we are scared to sit alone with ourselves and to be comfortable and okay with who we are.
Then you have the woman or man leaving an abusive relationship, not taking any real time to heal and jumping into another relationship. They think that the woman or man gets them, understands them and loves them. When the truth of the matter is, He/she is preying on your vulnerability, telling you how beautiful you are, how much you deserve each other when they are feeding off and draining life from you. You don’t see this because you think “oh he tells me he loves me, he doesn’t hit me.” Some people are spiritual vampires and by the time you see the person for who or what they are you have invested feelings become attached and it is harder to break away. You have men and women in relationships just because it’s easier financially. They live together, share all the bills, pay the mortgage or rent together, have sex but there are no real intentions. So basically this is just a convenience until the person they want comes around.
Then you have men and women dating for no other reason than societal norms. Society says you need to be with someone at this age, you need to have a home, be married at this age and society says….WELL I SAY FUCK SOCIETY and live for yourself.
I’ve heard married folks say they are still together for their children. How sad is that? So basically, you are denying yourself to live because you think that showing your child that staying in a dysfunctional relationship just to keep the family unit is better. Better than what?
There are amazing women and men who are in amazing, strong, thriving, and loving relationships. Please don’t think I’m saying there aren’t BUT until you are fully comfortable with yourself, and love yourself, please do us all a favor and stay single. Don’t invite anyone into your life unless you are willing to LOVE them fully
So ask me again why I’m single!!!
Image: Mike Kemp Getty Imagesby